This Means War

We’re supposed to believe that a hot blonde (who’s cranked out two kids but manages to have the body of someone half her age) has to choose between two amazing, gorgeous hunks?  And that she met one of them off a dating website?  And that she met the other one at a video store (um, a. who rents from a video store anymore, and b. have you seen the people wandering the aisles of what few video stores remain?) And THEN we are supposed to believe that they both work for the CIA?  Uh-huh.  There’s fiction and then there are movies that are just completely insulting.  So why did I go see this movie even though I had a bad attitude about the premise?  Because I enjoy a completely far-fetched, implausible, preposterous, ridiculous story-line as much as the next gal (who has nothing better to do on a Friday night).

The opening scene shows our two heroes, FDR (yep, you read that right) and Tuck (yep, you also read that right) kicking some butt as CIA agents.  At least this movie didn’t open with someone turning off an alarm clock, so I had to give it credit for that.  Off to a good start.

From there, Chelsea Handler is introduced as Reese’s (Lauren’s) best friend.  As you would expect, Chelsea’s completely inappropriate advice and candor provides a comedic element to this movie I wasn’t expecting.  She is frickin’ funny.  And not a bad actress.  Great.  Was I actually starting to like this movie?  Lord help me.

Trish (Chelsea Handler) sets up Lauren’s online dating profile and as you can imagine it is completely over the top.  Tuck (a.k.a. hunk #1) responds.  The two have a fabulous date (again with the absurdness of it all) and then Lauren bumps into FDR (hunk #2) afterward.

The men discover they are chasing the same woman and in and amongst their duties to serve and protect through covert missions, they enter into a “gentlemen’s agreement” and pursue Lauren.  Will she choose tattooed hunk with bulky shoulders but bad teeth, or will she choose guy-almost-too-pretty-to-be-a-guy but has cartoon character hair and eyebrows?

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to date two beef-cakes at once!  What will Lauren do?  Who will be the victor in this bizarre love triangle? Does Trish really combine Cheetos and sex with her fat husband at 9:00 every Wednesday night? You’ll just have to go see this movie and learn the answers to these questions yourself.

Yes, that’s right.  I’m recommending this movie.  In ten words or less, here’s why:  Chelsea Handler, laugh-out-loud moments and Chelsea Handler.  If you find yourself in my boat, with nothing to do on a Friday night, go check it out.

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